Because Glee is really the Let's-All-Pee-On-Kurt show.

• Kurt: When will Finn love me?
• Ryan: Never. He's straight.
• Kurt: Can I stop being bullied at least?
• Ryan: No, it's only going to get worse as the season progresses.
• Kurt: Well...At least I have my dad.
• Ryan: Lol wait until Grilled Cheesus.
• Kurt: Is he going to be okay?
• Ryan: Eventually. I should probably let you meet a cute guy to make up for it.
• Kurt: Awesome! When do we date?
• Ryan: You don't. He's straight, too.
• Kurt: Well whose gay?
• Ryan: You know that bully? Karofsky? The one that pushes you into lockers all the time and makes your life a living hell? Yeah, well, he's going to force himself on you, stealing your first kiss.
• Kurt: You've got to be kidding me.
• Ryan: Don't worry. I'm going to introduce you to a handsome, dapper, private school crooner to make it up to you. Oh, and he's gay.
• Kurt: Great! So can I date him?
• Ryan: You have to chase him. He prefers the hippie that works at the gap to you. Then he makes out with Rachel.
• Kurt: Does he ever love me back?
• Ryan: After your pet dies, yes.
• Kurt: You killed my pet?!
• Ryan: Yup. Just like I killed your chances of getting into your dream college. Your application is horrible.
• Kurt: Why?!
• Ryan: You try out for the lead in the musical but don't get it because you're "too feminine". A lot of people make fun of you for it and it really gets you down. You run for president to make up for it, but lose to Brittany.
• Kurt: That's horrible.
• Ryan: I know. That's probably why you cry all the time.
• Kurt: At least I have Blaine, though. Right?
• Ryan: I suppose so. I'm cutting your car make out scene, though. Also the scene where he buys you a Christmas present. And you're going to be the only one in the club without a Valentine this year.
• Kurt: Jesus, Ryan Murphy. Why don't you just have me get hit by a freaking bus?!
• Ryan Murphy: Hmm.
• Kurt: Shit.
• lol so accurate xD
• I'm so not laughin right now, because it's true and sad.